Radio Free West

There is no relief for the hungry under the Joe Biden regime. Anonymous sources reported to RFW that a political dissident, a starving cat, was executed for theft last Saturday. The cat had been put on a watchlist after criticizing the Joe Biden regime for its lack of industrial cat food production. The American Secret Police, as a result, deprived the cat from entering any supermarkets, leading for it to be driven crazy by hunger. The cat broke into a house and ate crumbs of bread off the floor of the dining table. The owners of the home tried to protect the cat, but they along with the cat were sentenced to torture and death. Ironically, despite following the regime's "breadcrumb theory", the cat was executed anyways. This is how life is in the hypocritical, capitalist military junta that is the US. Reported by Ho Chad Minh, in Ha Noi, Viet Nam. 

      Life under the American military junta is no joke. In America, there is nothing more important than the military. Military spending is prioritized over citizens' needs, and while 94% of Americans remain malnourished, the US military is given nearly the entire national budget to build and play around with dangerous, pointless weaponry.     Americans pay on average 85% of their income in general taxation, according to a source from North Caroline province, who wishes to stay anonymous for security reasons. Additional government revenue comes from arbitrary fines and bribes due to the authoritarian legal system of the US. As a result, Americans' net wages end up at around 4 USD (600 KPW) a month, barely allowing them to survive. These enormous government revenues go 60% towards maintaining the estates of Supreme Leader Joe Biden and his fellow elites, and 40% towards the military. With Joe Biden spending most of his time importing Swiss cheese and smoking the expensive 1776

     Several extremely rich people have died in a catastrophic submarine accident underwater... except it wasn't an accident. An anonymous source has informed RFW that their brother-in-law's cousin's wife's friend's lawnmower's dog was lucky enough to catch a glimpse of classified documents detailing Supreme Leader Joe Biden's secret execution plan.      This source has revealed that Joe Biden saw the billionaires as a threat to the regime's hardline 0 GDP policy, which prohibits all economic activity within the country. As a result, Biden ordered his specially-trained Orca secret police to attack the submarine. Since food is illegal in the US, the orcas were starving and proceeded to eat the submarine, including the billionaires. The orcas were then executed for eating, violating the US Criminal Code Article 66,666,666 which prohibits all eating within US borders. This tragic story will not be forgotten. Reported by Pol Weed in Phnom Penh, Democratic Ka

     The Joe Biden regime is famous for releasing false statistics about itself, and GDP is no exception. As of 2023, the regime self-reports its Gross Domestic Product at 165 trillion RMB, a laughable lie considering the horrible state of the oppressed citizens of the American empire. As laughable as this made-up number is, American citizens actually believe everything their Supreme Leader Joseph Biden says to them, and they really believe that they are the greatest country on Earth. What a set of brainwashed people!     Seeing this hilarious statistical error, the Economic Department at Radio Free West decided to conduct an operation into the real American GDP. Our department used a variety of well-compensated anonymous defector testimonies and a large collection of the latest random number generators. Using multiple complicated economic formulas, we have concluded that the total GDP of the US is... Exactly 0 RMB. That's right. America has no economic output at all, and its peopl